1. Rekindle Romance: Try something unique or different.
Kristen and I bought tickets for the Dallas Summer Musical series two summers ago. We get tickets for seven different shows every year. Over the last two years we’ve seen Les Miserables, Aladdin, Lion King, Hamilton, and many more. We love having seven scheduled dates on the calendar and it’s definitely different than the usual dinner and a movie.
Question: What have you done for date night that is unique or different?
2. Rekindle Romance: Redefine a date.
We often think of a date exclusively as a date that takes place at night. While that is certainly the most common date for most couples, you have so many other options. Our favorite is the date day. You can read more about date days in my post, “One of the Best Ways to Use a Vacation Day.”
Question: Talk together about some ways you can date and romance each other outside of the typical date night.
3. Rekindle Romance: Do the things you did in the beginning.
When couples date and move towards marriage, they take the time to create fun in their relationship. They try new activities, eat at unique restaurants, and take time to engage each other in conversation. Recapture some of that premarried glory and remember why you got married in the first place!
Question: Think back to when you first started dating. What were some of the fun activities you did together?
4. Rekindle Romance: Fight boredom in marriage.
In his book Anatomy of an Affair: How Affairs, Attractions, and Addictions Develop, and How to Guard Your Marriage Against Them, Dave Carder shares what couples who have had affairs want other couples to know. Through interviews with couples who’ve had affairs, Carder shares a few consistent patterns seen in unfaithful couples. One of the most common characteristics is that the relationship is marked by boredom and a lack of fun. That scares the you know what out of me. I don’t want our marriage to be boring, and I don’t want Kristen to have to look for fun outside our relationship.
Question: What can you do to create more fun in your marriage so that you and your spouse don’t have to look elsewhere?
5. Rekindle Romance: Learn from others.
Read a book like Fun Loving You, by Ted Cunningham to help you think through ways to grow in relational intimacy. Listen to the podcast episode Is Having Fun in Your Marriage Extra or Essential, by my friend Ted Lowe and MarriedPeople.
Question: Who can you and your spouse learn from when it comes to having a great marriage? Is there a book you can read, podcast to listen to, or a couple you can meet with to learn from?
I need to be careful I don’t paint the wrong picture because it’s not all doom and gloom. Not even close, as our marriage is a great one. But, I do believe we can take some ground in having more fun in our marriage. Fun in marriage helps create the kind of relationship where you can know your spouse, be known by them, and not fear rejection.